I need MEAT!

So... in an effort to lose some weight (and to better myself... yeah, yeah, yeah), I have decided to go on a 3-Week long Vegan cleanse.  I am in day 2 of this adventure and already I'm going bat-shit! No dairy, no nuts, no soda, no cheese (well, this would fall under no dairy... except that cheese is a food group in itself), no sugar, no sushi, no meat (I need MEAT!), no eating anything with a face. Last night I had brown rice with mixed Vegetables... today for lunch I had toast (whole wheat, all bran, brown, disgusting!) with two Tblsp. of hummus.  Why am I torturing myself like this you may ask?! I want to blame it on David (who does this twice a year... bless his heart), but really I chose to do this.  I am at my absolute heaviest I have ever been... I am at 257 lbs. ...

Now... I know... I know... there are people out there who are heavier than I... I have no judgement about people and their weight.  But for me... I am not where I want to be and I want to do better for myself.

Back to this God-Awful cleanse... am I hoping to lose 60 pounds in 3 weeks?  Sure... in reality if only a small amount of weight comes off that'd be great (and not just water weight, thanks for the vote of confidence Mike!).  But really, the reason I am going through this hell is to try to get as much crap outta my system as I can and then to try and start fresh.  I figure once the body loses its memory of Doritos, it won't crave them as much!!!  I figure a grilled skinless chicken breast will eventually taste as good as an order of Stupidly Hot Chicken Wings from Master Pizza.  Green leafy stuff will appear more frequesntly in my diet.  This is what I tell myself to get through the days and the meals of birdseed and cardboard!

Note to self... your body will go into shock if you do this! Symptoms to look out for: irritability, zits (I am over 40 years old and getting zits?!), hunger, irritability, lethargy, headaches, did I mention irritability?  Last night, I was Grumpy McGrumpster and getting all pissy with David... but hey, I could blame it on LACK OF FOOD!!!!  Today I bumped into Rebecca at Staples... my body and my being were on two different planes! A.) when I was talking with her, it felt like I had just snorted a line of cocaine and B.) it felt like the person talking with Rebecca was 2 steps in front of where I actually was.  WTF is happening to me... and tonight, David wants me to go to the gym??!!  I'm going to fly right off of the eliptical machine!!! 

... all for a better good... all for a better good!!!!